Feigning

There are moments in your life,




When you feel like nothing ain’t right.



You feel like falling apart and never standing up again,



Your soul, your heart becomes blinded by pain.



And there you cry and cry……….shedding so many tears,



Thinking that you’ll never be the same for many years.







There are times when feel so lost,



When you feel like the dried, torn petals of the crimson rose.



You wanna spit your feelings out,



You wanna scream and shout.



But you don’t find anyone to share your feelings with,



You feel so down that you think about getting over with……







No matter how many times you say,



That this is life….It’s gotta be this way.



And even though you know it’s just a cliché,



You still feel like believing that tomorrow’s gotta be better day…



This is the rule of life and as time flows by,



You learn to be you and so you accept life…..







So I close my eyes and let the tears fall,



Cuz I know dat I haven’t yet lost it all.



The flame of hope still burns within me,



Helping me to stand strong and elude my soul’s deformity.







I gotta hold myself together for the ones I love,



Cuz if I’m broken than who’ll hold them when they fall apart?



And so I go on and on……



Hiding my wounds and feigning that I’m strong…..

SANCTUARY OF MUSIC

I have shed a lot of tears,




To wash away the pains those have been accumulating all these years.



But as soon as the old pains leave…..



The new pains arrive with plans to tear me.



I shed more tears to alleviate my wounded heart,



I try to abate these pains but while doing this I’m always torn apart.







I try to find some peace,



In my sanctuary of music.



But when I leave the place,



My heart is again surrounded by ascorbic pains….



I run back to my sanctuary of music,



In the hope of appeasing my soul and finding some peace….







People who can live with their pains…..



Are the bravest of those and they can survive the harsh rain.



But I guess I don’t fit in here,



Cuz I easily break down and can’t bear too much of the pains’ flair



I guess I’m too frail to face the world,



As I easily break my heart…….







And so I try to find some peace,



In my sanctuary of music.



But when I leave the place,



My heart is again surrounded by ascorbic pains….



So I run back to my sanctuary of music,



In the hope of appeasing my soul and finding some peace….

I’ll be there for you

When you feel all alone,



When you feel like there’s nowhere to go…



When fear clouds your heart,



And the tears from your eyes just don’t seem to stop falling…..



And when you feel like it’s all over,



And you wish like ending…..







Just close your eyes and call my name…



I’ll come to you through snow and rain.



I’ll be there for you,



To drive away all your blues…



To wipe away your tears,



To fight away all your fears….



I’ll be there for you…..



No one but for you……















And when you need someone to laugh and cry with,



Call me up and I’ll be there with you in a jig…..



When you need someone to get drenched in the rain,



I’ll be there with you and act inane…..



When the old song seems to bore you,



I’ll tune in a new song for you…..just for you.







And I’ll be there for you,



To brighten up your deepest blues…



I’ll be there for you,



And sing a new song to you…..



I’ll be there for you,



And this I promise to you……

Beautiful Vampire

They warned me again and again,


Not to come to you or else I'll suffer immense pain.

But no matter what I do I can't comprehend,

Neither can I ever explain to them,

That I'm completely captivated by your spell.

I can't seem to get outta this sweet hell...









They think I don't know your secret,

But I know that you are madly drawn to a human's scent...

I knoiw about the frenzieness you go through every night,

I even know that you thirst for my blood, my life...

They call you a monster but I call you "My Love",

From you, I just can't seem to be torn apart...







Your blood red eyes, your crimson lips,

I'm drawn to even your diamond-like skin.

You're the most beauitiful creature on this earth to me,

And I love the way you play the npiano for me...

Yourt smell is my sleeping lullaby,

And I would do anything to have you eternally by my side....









You're not Bella's Edward, neither are you Lestat.

You're meant for me, destined to feed on my blood....

You're soulless, immortal, monstrous but it's only you, I desire...

And every wrong feels right when you are in love with a beautiful Vampire.....

What I pretend to be........

Trying to be tough, rough and loud.




Trying to be happy and gay when you’re around……….



Camouflaging my burnt-self with my don’t care attitude,



Laughing it all out when deep inside I’m all blues.



But for you I gotta be like this,



And you know me now as I pretend to be.







Jumping around and being an all-out selfish,



Acting like an atheist, calling every bit of my life a beautiful bitch…



You’re seeing an unlikable side of me that I’m forced to take,



Swearing loudly and all time saying aloud- Hey Man!!!!!!!!



Trying to be a rebellion and rebelling I am,



Fighting off my broken heart’s stupid pains…..







Lost I am and I don’t know if I’ll ever find my way back.



Never thought I would be trying to live like Joan Jett.



I live my life in a way now, making you hate me more…



Making you say “Go to hell!” and “Leave me alone!”



Assuring you that you’ve taken the right decision,



And thus using more crude words I sing along this song……….







But late night this hard core shell sheds off,



Making me wake up every morning feeling so hollow,



I wish I could stop these tears from wetting my pillow.



This weakling in me is making me act so shallow,



This one feeling is impeding my learning to live a life without you,



Making it hard for me to accept this undeniable truth…..







I know there’s no way you’re returning,



So hate me more for being this bad-reputed me.



Know as the most arrogant and selfish bitch.



Because now I am what I pretend to be….

On a silent cold November night…….

Thought that every single memory of you have effaced,


But it seems like the past still glows through my present life….

On a silent cold November night,

I turn back the pages to where it all ended,

Trying to furnish the beginning of that end…….

Silence creeps into my room and to evade its capture,

Switch on the PC and start on some music….

Keep on listening to this song called, ‘Sweetest November’,

I smile sarcasm and ponder on the irony,

On a silent cold November night…….

When I’m painting tragedy, the sweetness of pain breaks apart the evanescent light.

The painting on the canvass was to be finished perfectly,

But fate can’t stop interfering, now can he?

After all these years, I still wish I could have changed the ending,

Tear out those tragic parts and re-write a new story….

I wish I could paint a better one to replace the caricatured one,

On a silent cold November night, I prey all those that went wrong could be undone…..



And I wish upon a shooting star that perhaps I crossed your mid too tonight,

That I still hold a place in your heart, in your life…..

And when you pass by the places where we once used to be,

Just like I think of you, may be you too think of me….

And when you keep on changing the radio stations and you come across one of our favorite songs,

May be you think of me too and may be you just don’t….

A thousand different maybe’s, questions and possibilities cross my mind,

The faded ink on those dusty, yellow pages forms incongruent and congruent words, begetting the story of you and I,

As I write about you, maybe you’re writing about me too,

And maybe those dried roses were always red and never blue…..

Whatever it may be, but right now it’s of you I reminisce,

On a silent cold November night…….

To grow up to be just like you

I learnt to walk with toddler steps,


You held my little fingers and helped me through the days.

And every day after you came back home,

The three of us used to go out to roam

And sitting on your shoulders I inhaled the beauty

Of the streets and the air of my birth city………….



Every night you sang me to sleep,

Even if it was past the midnight and I had problems breathing.

You took me outside, held me close to your heart and helped me heal.

And every time fever caught up with me,

Even if you had a big test next day and you were studying,

Every hour of the night, you checked the temperature of the little me.

And even though I have grown up now, you still do it…………



Every morning when I cried out that I don’t wanna go to school,

You cajoled me and told the best things about school.

And all those laughter we shared in the car,

As we drove to and from school- are still locked up inside m heart.

And even though it was hard for you,

But you always rushed to give me whatever I wanted from you…………..



Every night before I go to sleep,

I pray to God to help me,

To grow up to be someone, just like you.

Even if things don’t seem to go right,

Till the and I’ll keep up the fight,

To grow up to be just like you………..







You dreamt big dreams for me,

And I dreamt of growing up to be you.

When baby brother came, you still kept on adoring me,

And when I said I never wanna leave you,

You promised me that I would never have to.

And the happy little girl painted her world with all shades of blue…….







As days went by I grew up,

You mentored my ways and taught me to stand up.

The little girl who before going to sleep always wrapped her little hands around your big arms,

Still wanted to grow up to be just like you.

No matter what other people said about you,

And may be sometimes I felt that way too,

But the peddle of my heart always belonged to you……



And every night before I go to sleep,

I pray to God to help me,

To grow up to be someone, just like you.

Even if things don’t seem to go right,

Till the and I’ll keep up the fight,

To grow up to be just like you………



I know that from you I have grown far apart,

And the distance now can’t be patched up.

But I’ll still say that you’ve been my first love,

And I miss those days of laughter riding in the car,

When school, books and music carved out my world.

The little girl inside me still loves you,

But the grown up girl just don’t have the guts to say it to you…………



When grand-mom died, I saw you cry.

I wish I could have comforted you, helped your tears to dry.

But like you I have never been good at expressing what I am feeling inside,

And even though I know that your strength has died,

You’re still the super-hero, the soldier in my eyes.

And I’m sorry for turning out to be quite a rebellion all the times.

Shouting out my anger, fighting back even though the faults’ always mine…..



So every night before I go to sleep,

I pray to God to help me,

To grow up to be someone, just like you.

Even if things don’t seem to go right,

Till the and I’ll keep up the fight,

To grow up to be just like you………